The last option

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 From the time I was born, I definitely knew I was the last option. It's been 20 damn years, I fucking got over my teen years, but you know what? The problem is being last in everything.

I fucking feel like a goddamn rotten apple inside a basket with other fruits. No one is really willing to take me. For a while, they might pretend to you know want me after all, I wasn't really rotten from the beginning . (Chances are i was) Maybe the fault is in me. I wasn't really supposed to be with anyone. I was meant to stay away from everyone because, after all, I was trash from the very beginning.

Maybe I should stay away from others, I end up ruining things for everyone in the end, I end up ripping them up probably too much that they rot along with me too.

I always wonder how I can keep things going, how I cannot mess up? But the more I try, the more I fail.

Maybe it's not my face that is ugly, maybe it's actually my heart, maybe ....

how?

how do I -, I-

fix me ...

I really think I need to be erased and drawn again.

Ain 't I pathetic?

I often sit alone and think about it..i don't deserve to be around anyone...I should be caged and kept away i would only bring sorrow to others .

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