The last option
From the time I was born, I definitely knew I was the last option. It's been 20 damn years, I fucking got over my teen years, but you know what? The problem is being last in everything. I fucking feel like a goddamn rotten apple inside a basket with other fruits. No one is really willing to take me. For a while, they might pretend to you know want me after all, I wasn't really rotten from the beginning . (Chances are i was) Maybe the fault is in me. I wasn't really supposed to be with anyone. I was meant to stay away from everyone because, after all, I was trash from the very beginning. Maybe I should stay away from others, I end up ruining things for everyone in the end, I end up ripping them up probably too much that they rot along with me too. I always wonder how I can keep things going, how I cannot mess up? But the more I try, the more I fail. Maybe it's not my face that is ugly, maybe it's actually my heart, maybe .... how? how do I -, I- fix me ... I really ...